Round Up

Did you see the other day where cops were taking all those bikes that had been locked on street signs in NYC?

Yeah, it's too bad, too. People are just trying to save some energy and money.

My bike was taken!

What?! Why do you have a bicycle locked up to a street sign in Manhattan?

I have a friend who lives in Queens. Last time I went to see him I bought a bike to use out there with the intention of sending it home. I never did. Now my friend has a job that sometimes takes him into the city so he was using my bike to get around when he went to the city. He has a cousin that lives at 366 E 6th Street and he was parking the bike there when he wasn't in the city. Now it's gone. It's gone!

What're you going to do?

Nothing. What's there to do?

What kind of job did your friend have?

I don't know. He never said, exactly. Something about document…investigation…procedure.

What?

I really don’t know.

Man, that’s crazy. I wonder if you can sue the city or anything.

For what?

The cost of your bike to begin with.

No. That bike was crap.

I thought you said you’d bought it when you went to visit your friend in Queens.

Yeah but that was 1985.

What?! Man, you’re an idiot. Actually, no, your friend’s an idiot. Riding around Manhattan on your dinky old BMX bike?

The bike wasn’t too little. I was large for my age.

Oh. Okay.

It was pretty old, though. I mean I bought it at a pawn shop. Who knows how old it is for sure. And it was a 10 speed, not a BMX bike.

Doesn’t help.