You Say Myanmar, I Say Burma

How long are people going to refer to Myanmar as "Myanmar-previously-Burma" instead of just "Myanmar"?

The name of this country, which is home to 50 million people, is a flash point among laymen and politicians both within and without the borders of this country comprised of 261,227 square miles—roughly the size of Texas. Some groups continue to use "Burma" because they do not recognize the legitimacy of the current ruling party who changed the name of the country back in 1989. The United Nations, however, recognizes the name "Myanmar" because that's the "official" name of the country as designated by the current government. Consequently, the media is caught in-between the two sides. They don't want to be seen as unjustly siding with either the citizens of the country or the controversial ruling party.

Oh. That makes sense. Did you see the military came out at beat some monks yesterday with riot sticks?

Yeah. Too bad.

How could you beat a monk?

I don't know, man. I'd be scared no matter what religion they were. In my opinion, a person of God is a person of God, regardless if I don't think or know that their God exists. If I was told to beat a monk and even if it turns that monks' God didn't exist I'd be scared some other God could step in to cover for the monk's God and smite the abuser's soul down to hell.

So you're saying the God's have each others' backs?

Totally.

So if the God in question doesn't exist some other God that does exist will stand in and do the punishing?

Yeah.

You should work that into an editorial and submit it to the paper.

Really? Which paper?

To be honest, I don't think it matters.

Free Our Jena Six

What does "Free Our Jena Six" mean?

Six black kids are in jail for beating up a white kid.

Did the white kid do something to them?

Well, there was this tree at this high school—Jena High School—where white kids usually hung out and one day during an assembly a black kid asked if the black kids could hang out there, too. The principle said yes but the next day there were nooses hanging from the branches of the tree.

Whoa.

Yeah. Then this white kid got beat up. I don't know if he was in on the noose thing or not or how he's involved. I don't know a whole lot about it.

You'd think this stuff was way behind us.

You really would; that we're better than that.

Yeah.

Do you think the kids tied the nooses?

I don't know. Why?

I'm just wondering how the kids learned how to tie nooses.

I don't know.

Do you know how to tie one?

Nope.

Me neither.

It's probably standard elementary school curriculum of the south.

Yeah. Like how they split up the girls and boys for the maturation classes—they split up the blacks and whites for noose tying classes.

What would the blacks learn in their class?

Good question. How to peacefully assemble and march to city hall?

Yeah, right.

What's maturation?

I can't even talk to you.

In Gainesville Next Month

Hey, I'm going on a business trip next month can you get my mail?

Sure. Where you going?

Florida.

You going to hit the beach?

No. I’m going to Gainesville.

Oh. What’s in Gainesville?

Not much from what I can tell. Not very much.

There was just that incident at UF. That sounded pretty cool. Too bad you weren’t there for that.

Yeah, no kidding. My conference is even at UF. That would've been awesome.

Did you hear they have a recording of the guy saying to the cops that he didn’t blame them? That they were just doing their job?

No, I hadn’t heard that.

Yeah.

Man, that’d suck to get tasered.

It totally would.

The Universe and Life in General(ities)

I can't believe scientist know about things that are 23 million light years away.

Yeah, that's pretty far.

I can scarcely comprehend one light year. I mean it's light! It's so fast!

It is pretty fast. I think the universe is like 25 billion light years long…or wide…or whatever.

Are you…? Are you serious?

Yeah.

And we're the only planet with life?

Yep.

Wow. I mean, seriously, wow.

Yeah.

No other planets out there playing in bands or watching baseball or eating bar-b-que?

That's it?

What?

Those are the three things that encapsulate life to you?

Well, no, they're just the first three things that came to my mind.

Sure.

What would you say if you had to name three?

I don't know. Speaking and…reading and writing and…engaging in some form of reproduction, I guess.

That's four.

Reading and writing count as one.

Why?

Because they're representing the singular concept of "literacy."

You could've said, "Being literate."

Does that really make sense?

Sure.

No, it doesn't.

Well, I don't remember the last time I saw you reading a newspaper or writing a letter.

Hey, I read the paper, okay? Just because I leave to work before you even wake up doesn't mean I don't read the paper.

Easy, friend.

Don't "easy" me. What about you? You don't read or write, do you?

Are you kidding? When would I have time to read? It takes me five hours to climb down the tree.

Okay. You're right.

What about God?

What about God?

I wonder if having a belief if God should be on the list?

But not everyone believes in God. It's not inherent to life.

Sure it is. They just might not know it.

First of all, I have no idea what you mean by that. Second, you can't go assigning people to believe in God. A lot of people believe in God or Gods or some form of supreme being but that's their choice. Some people don't and that's their choice.

So maybe we should say, "The ability to allow people to believe what they want to believe."

Yeah, if only that were true.

What?

Do you watch the news?

Sure.

The bombings? The murder? The genocide? The hate? The general fighting all across the globe?

Okay?

There sure seems to be a lot of not-allowing people to believe what they want to believe.

Yeah but we have laws and stuff to protect our rights.

Oh, okay.

What?

Nothing.

You can't do that. What?!

Nothing.

What about OJ, huh? Man it's like we're in a time warp. OJ's in jail—a Clinton is running for President. What year is it, right?