No Emo Love For Buck

What’s wrong with emo?

I don’t know.

Why do you hate it?

I don’t. I just don’t like it. I just don’t like it enough to listen to a lot.

Why can’t you open you’re heart for emo?

I think it’s just a lot of the same. I mean, it’s not bad I just can’t listen to a lot of it.

Have you even actually listened to any of it?

Sure. Fall Out Boy. Dashboard. Anberlin. Panic! J.E.W. I even bought Yellowcard’s first album back when it came out.

Okay, what’s it called?

I can’t remember.

See what I mean? Even though you say you bought the cd—which I doubt you did—you can’t even remember the name of it. That's not showing any love.

I did too buy it! I bought it at Target for $9.99.

Sure. Who can’t remember the name of a cd they bought?

I don’t know. Me!

Emo hater.

Dude, I was one of the first fans of Weezer!

That doesn’t count.

Why?

That was premo. Emo wasn’t established.

Chicken and the egg, man.

No. It doesn’t count. You can’t be grandfathered in.

Fine.

You know what? Emo doesn’t even want you. Emo is better off without you. You are not what emo is about. Just go off to your Shins and whatever else you listen to all day. I swear, you listen to so much music you’d think you could fit in some diversity.

I’m diverse!

Uh huh.

Fine, you know what? You want the truth?

Yeah, I want the truth.

Okay. The truth is I’m too old. Alright? You happy? I’m too old to listen to emo.

Emo knows no age, man.

Well I do. And I see the young kids today with their emo hair and tight jeans and tight, retro t-shirts and old school Vans slip on shoes and I just can’t do that, man. I’ve got a wife and kids, for heaven’s sake. I can’t be shooting around town like that.

You don’t have to dress like that to listen to the music.

Well, fine, but even the music. It’s too much. It’s takes to much out of me. All the sad stories and up heaved feelings and sentiments and the like. I mean, c’mon, put a lid on it. Haven’t you ever heard of masking your feelings? No one cares about your feelings. So what your girlfriend is spending the summer in Boca Raton and you're doing study abroad in Perth and you miss her so much. I mean seriously, who cares?

You don’t think your indie popsters are talking about love?

Sure, but they’re not shredding their wrists and bleeding all over my cd player. You make it abstract. You speak metaphorically. You make it so no one knows what the hell you’re talking about.

Emo shoots straight. Emo doesn’t have any time for metaphors. Emo’s too busy living on the cusp of life to front any pretensions, you know?

That’s fine. I’ve never even said anything against emo, pal. You’re the one who’s attacking me. Did you know “emo” began as a pejorative for “emotive” hardcore punk. Did you know that?

Whatever, man. I’m outta here.

Don’t go away mad, emo boy, just go away.

(Walking away) Very funny.

Name the song that’s from.

(From the other room) Shut up.

C’mon! Tell me who sang that song!

Give up? It was Motley Crue!

(Singing quietly to himself) “Girl, don't go away mad. Girl, just go away. Girl, don't go away mad. Now girl, just go away. Here we go.”

***No emos were hurt in this post. In fact, Sol isn’t really an emo boy. In fact, he isn’t really a boy at all. He’s around 30 years old. On occasion, Buck and Sol have spontaneous hypothetical arguments; this is one of them.***

(If you find yourself wondering what emo is click here.)