People Should Discuss Issues Not Other People

Am I the only person who doesn’t like Elliot Smith?

I think you may be.

Too bad.

Especially since James Mercer lives in his old house.

Truly.

Do you ever feel like all we ever talk about is music?

Yeah, sometimes. But we talk about other stuff.

Like what?

Like politics.

We don’t talk about politics.

Sure we do. We don’t dwell on politics but we talk about them.

Okay, I’ll agree to that.

And we talk about issues.

Issues? What does that mean?

I mean things like school vouchers and gun control.

I don’t believe we’ve ever talked about school vouchers or gun control.

Okay, then, let’s do it. How do you feel about education vouchers?

I think they’re a waste of money. We should be putting that money into public school. You?

I think making education a free market would be a healthy way of turning our dismal education system around and forcing local education accountability.

Okay.

Anything else you want to say?

Not really.

Okay. Gun control?

I’m for it.

I’m against it.

Okay.

Anything else you want to say?

Nope.

Okay.

What about…what about New Orleans?

What about it?

What do you think about it?

About it’s rebuilding?

Yeah.

Well, that’s tough.

And education and gun control aren’t?

Yeah, but we were talking about an issue. An issue doesn’t have a pulse and a history and a future. It’s not like we have been told the hurricane will come on August 29^th of this year and we’re debating how we’re going to handle it. It’s happened and we have to live with the consequences of decisions that have already been made. The only thing we can discuss is how to go forward. It’s the same with Iraq—we’re there regardless of if one thinks we shouldn’t be there or not. I get so tired of people arguing that we should or shouldn’t be there. It’s a moot point. We’re there.

Okay. Well, then, I'm glad you got that off your chest but I'm still asking the same question: what do you think we should do in New Orleans?

I think we should cut our loses and focus on the areas that want to rebuild. Let’s don’t talk about how people haven’t come back. If they haven’t come back, fine—let’s move on. If they have—fine, let’s deal with them. We can’t make people do things they don’t want to do. Will New Orleans ever be the same? No. Well, probably not. So many people haven’t returned. You can’t get over that. I think we should take cues from those people and focus on different areas.

Huh. That’s interesting. Don’t you think people will think they’re being abandoned by the city?

No. They abandoned the city. They haven’t come back. All I’m saying is we can’t make them.

Shouldn't we provide some incentives for growth and rebuilding?

Why? I think it’s a waste of money.

Huh. Okay.

One thing I want to stress before we go any further, though, is I really have no idea what I’m talking about. You know I work in a very quiet office all day, right? I know a lot about my desk and about my commute to work. But I’ve never been to New Orleans. I’ve never even wanted to go to New Orleans.

You’ve never wanted to go to Mardi Gras?

Oh, yeah, well, maybe when I was 18.

I went one year. When I was 22 me and six of my friends packed into a van and drove 28 straight hours to New Orleans. We didn’t make any accommodation plans whatsoever. We just winged it the entire week.

Was it fun?

It was extraordinary.

Really?

Best time of my life.

Best?

Best.

Would you say I’ve missed out on something, then?

Yeah, definitely.

So the experience you had at Mardi Gras was essential to living a full and complete life and because I’ve never had that experience I’ll never be able to claim that I’ve lived a full and complete life?

Pretty much, man. Sorry.

Interesting. You know, I’ve never thought a certain single experience was required for living a full and complete life. I mean, if that’s the case, what about the millions—billions!—of people that have never and will never go to Mardi Gras? I don’t that’s very fair, do you?

It’s their loss.

That’s it? “It’s their loss”?

Yeah. I guess so.

So why were they even born then?

To make their way to Mardi Gras just like me and my six friends had to.

Oh, I see. A pilgrimage. People should do whatever it takes to go to Mardi Gras at least once in their life?

That’s right.

What if they die?

That’s it.

What if they get someone to carry their name on a piece of paper or an article of their clothing or their ashes to Mardi Gras for them?

Uh…no. Sorry.

Man, that’s harsh.

Hey, I didn’t make the rules.

You’re making the rules up this very instant!

Sorry, man, I don’t know what to tell you.

What if we took Mardi Gras to the people? You know, a traveling caravan? Like a Broadway show that tours the country?

Oh, like Phantom or Riverdance?

Yeah. Or better yet, let's dot the earth with little Mardi Gras festivals to give people a better chance of making it. I mean, if it's really that important.

That may just work. That would give everyone an opportunity to have the experience.

It sure would.

I guess we could do that.

I’m still worried about the people that die before seeing it, though.

Maybe they’ll get a chance to…uh…I don’t know.

Let’s just say someone can go for them.

I don’t know, man. Like a relative?

Yeah, sure. That’d be best but even a friend. But if we’re going to say yes to this, then it really wouldn’t have to be anyone they knew, would it?

Well, I guess not. It could be anyone who just found out the person had never been to Mardi Gras.

Exactly. See doesn’t that feel better? More fair?

Yeah, it does. It does feel good. I feel really good about that.

So do I.

I feel happy, even. I feel like I’ve made a good rule.

You’re a saint.

Well, I just hope they appreciate it.

What if they don’t?

I didn’t think about that.

What if they knew about Marti Gras the whole time but never even wanted to go in the first place and that’s why they never made the pilgrimage?

Well, I guess at least we tried.

Yeah. I guess that's our consolation. Too bad for them, though.

Yeah. Too bad.

Man, how did we get on that? Weren’t we taking about politics?

Issues.

Oh, yeah. Any other ones you want to talk about?

Not right now.

Did you catch Lost last night?

Yeah.

What’d you think?

It was good.

That’s it?

Yeah. It was good.

I want to know what the guy and girl were saying in Russian and why he shot her.

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. She probably said, “I’m going with them! I’m in love with the bald one!”

Yeah, or, “I’m sick of your lousy ice tea! I’ve never liked it!”

Or, “Maybe now you will stop naming all the cows after me!”

(Laughing) No, man. That’s stupid.

(Laughing) Yeah.

Have you heard This Bird Has Flown?

No. What is it?

It’s a 40^th anniversary tribute to The Beatles’ Rubber Soul. Each song is sung by a different contemporary artist. They’re mostly indie artists.

Cool. How is it?

Well, I think to thoroughly enjoy covers you have to have something invested in the original artist and the covering artist. I don’t really have anything invested in Rubber Soul—even though I love The Beatles. But I like some of the contemporary artists enough to make it enjoyable.

Interesting. I’ll have to check it out.

(Hands Buck a disc) I burned you a copy.

Oh. Thanks.

Let me know what you think of it.

Will do.