Shins Splints

What do you got there?

Pardon?

I say, what do you got there? On your iPod? What are you listening to?

Oh. The Shins.

Hey, right on. Are they changing your life?

What?

You know—Garden State? Natalie Portman? "It'll change your life."

Oh, right. Yeah, they’re changing my life.

Which album are you listening to?

Their latest.

Oh, man, I love Chutes. How can it be so good?

No, not Chutes. I mean their latest.

You mean…you mean the one that hasn’t come out yet? The one that’s scheduled to be released January 23, 2007?

Yeah. That latest.

Sleep Lessons? You are listening to Sleep Lessons right now? But why…how…where’d you get it?

They actually decided to go with the title Wincing the Night Away.

Oh. How’d you get it?

Internet. It leaked a few days ago.

And you downloaded it? Isn’t that...?

Yeah, I know. I crossed the line.

Aren’t you worried something’s going to happen? You’re going to get caught? Can’t they trace your IP address and stuff?

I don’t know. I’m not worried.

But don’t you feel bad? I mean, file sharing is one thing but taking stuff that isn’t even supposed to come out for another fourth of a year is completely different.

Okay, Lars Ulrich.

I’m just saying I’d be worried. I wouldn’t even be able to listen to it for the guilt.

Good for you.

Well…uh…is it good?

Hmmm?

Is it good? Wincing the Night Away?

So now you’re Lars Ulrich and I’m Ryan Schreiber?

No, I’m just wondering, you know. I like The Shins, too. They changed my life.

Right. Uh, yeah, it’s good.

That’s it? “It’s good.” You can’t give me nothing else?

Hey, all you asked was if it is good. I really shouldn’t be talking about it, anyway. I should be focused on feeling bad about my actions, right?

Okay, okay. Just give me something to hold on to for three more months.

Fine. It’s either brilliant or it’s the work of a band who was in the studio for way too long.

What does that mean?

Just that.

So you don’t even know which one it is?

Yeah, I do. I know.