Baked Ham & Cheese

Tell me if you think this means anything.

Okay.

I had this dream last night that I was traveling across country by train. And in one city we stopped and I had a layover or something (I don’t even know if trains have layovers) and I was hanging out with some locals.

Okay.

There were three people in particular that I was most interested in. We were talking and shooting pool at one of their homes.

Right.

Well, the lady—there were two men and one woman—pulls out a stack of grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. There were maybe half a dozen of them on a plate. And she passes them around and everyone takes one. And here’s where it gets a little strange. Everyone pulls their sandwich apart—like this—and they take the ham and cheese out. Then they pass around a bag of weed and everyone rolls a joint out of ham and cheese.

What?

Yeah! And I was just watching them, right? I was just completely at a loss for words. Well, then the girl turns to me and says, “Go ahead. You’ll love it.” And I say, “No, thanks." And she says, "C'mon." And I go, "Really, I’m good,” but she won’t quit. She just keeps getting closer and closer to me. And she just kept holding out the grilled ham and cheese in one hand and a bag of weed in the other.

So what’d you do?

I took it. She was crazy hot and I didn’t want to look like an idiot.

So, here you are supposed to be an adult and all grown up and everything but you gave in to basic peer pressure.

Yeah. Exactly.

So what happened then?

I rolled myself a joint out of ham and cheese!

(Laugh.) How was it?

Delicious. For about 15 minutes it just tasted like ham and cheese. Then I went to look out the window to check on my train and the weed kicked in and I stumbled over a chair and fell on the floor and started laughing. Everyone was just laughing. It was pretty funny.

(Laugh.)

Then the conductor yelled, “All aboard!” and I ran and got on the train. And that was it. Then I woke up.

That is one crazy dream, man.

I’ll have to market it: The ham and cheese joint. Tastes good going down—feels good going up.

Going up?

Getting high?

Gotcha.

So do you think it means anything?

No.

You don’t think there’s a beautiful woman in my future?

Who’s going to offer you a grilled ham and cheese sandwich and weed? No.

But there might be a beautiful woman?

Sure there might. Do you have any plans to do any traveling by train?

Nope.

You should start there.

Good thinking.