Ferns Remind Chick of Her Aunt Fern

Hey guys.



Hi!

Hey! Where've you been?

Just looking around. I love how there are so many ferns growing around this area.

Yeah, nice aren’t they?

Beautiful. I had an aunt named Fern. She would’ve loved this place.

Did she live back in Colorado?

No, upstate New York. She hated the West.

Why?

Not refined enough for her tastes. She’s snobbish—but in a good way. I mean, she’s not mean or anything. She just wanted people to act right. I think she thought everyone out West were lawless hooligans. Cowboys, you know?

Seems like such a proper lady would hate being in a rain forest looking at ferns.

She loved to travel but she just did everything very properly. She had the finest gear and supplies. Home away from home, you know? No roughing it.

Was she raised like that? I mean, is that what your family’s like?

My family isn’t but Aunt Fern was like that as long as I knew her. My mom said that she used to be really loud and rambunctious and she drank a lot. But then she accidentally killed my uncle and since then she’s been totally different. I’ve only known her like that.

Whoa, she killed you uncle? What happened? I mean, if you don't mind me asking.

I don't mind. They lived on a 130 acre farm in New York. One day my Uncle Lewis was out in the barn chopping wood for the winter with a log splitter. Fern came out to the barn and started messing around. She was drunk. She was trying to get my uncle to put all sorts of things in the machine to see what would happen but he wouldn’t. When he turned his back to get another log she put an old, metal tractor seat in the machine. It jammed the blade up into the engine and it exploded. A piece of metal hit my uncle in the head and he died a couple days later. She sobered up real quick and she's been very refined and proper since then.

I’m sorry.

Me, too.

Thanks. It’s no big deal.

What are some other nice things to see around here?

We like going down to the river in the evening time. We’ve been wanting to take you down there with us. Would you like to go tonight?

Yeah. Let's go now.

Oh, okay. Fine. You in, Sol?

Sure. It’s a bit early but I guess that’s okay.