Don't Ask A Lady About Her Equipment

That’s weird we haven’t see you fly, yet you are a flying squirrel.

Well, “flying squirrel” is a misnomer. It really should be “gliding.”

That makes sense. I mean, it’s not like you have a propeller instead of a tail, or anything.

What does that mean?

Well, you know, to fly she’d need a propeller.

So birds have propellers?

Oh, right, I guess not. I forgot about wings.

So what equipment do you have?

Sol, you don’t ask a lady about her equipment.

No, it’s okay. I have these flaps between my arms and legs that connect to my side.

So when you say glide, you really do mean glide.

I really do mean glide. Would you like to see?

Yes!

That was awesome!

That was fantastic, Chick! Nice going!

Thanks. It’s no big deal, really.

No big deal? Are you crazy?! Do you realize that I’m a dung beetle? Dung is my life. The ground is my life. Digging in dung and dirt is my life. I can’t even see the sky unless I lie on my back.

I was wondering what you were doing there.

No, what you can do is incredible. It’s okay to say it’s incredible.

Buck’s right. I sit here in a tree my whole life. I come down to urinate and defecate and that’s it.

Sol, the lady?

What, she doesn’t?

It’s okay.

I mean, that’s just awesome.

Thanks.

Man, you really got it good, Chick.

Well, thank you. But I’m just trying, like you guys, to make life work.

No way, Chick. I mean, Sol and I do these menial things all our lives with no diversity or change or anything dynamic whatsoever. But here you are traveling thousands of miles from your home, gliding from tree to tree; doing pretty much whatever you want all the time you’re whole life. You’re totally hooked up.

Well, it’s not like I chose this and you chose that.

I know. You just really scored on The Sixth Day.

What sixth day? You mean the Sixth Day of the creation?

Yeah. I have a theory that some creatures were created early in the morning on The Sixth Day when God had tons of energy and creativity. Others were created late in the day when energy was down and creativity was waning.

I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way.

How do you explain the difference between you and us then? You rock. Us: not so much. Sol and I had to have been created at 11:59 p.m. at the end of a very long, very arduous day.

Buck’s right. We suck! You’re awesome!

No other explanation.

(Uncomfortable and embarrassed.) Guys. If what you’re saying is true then there’s some kind of hierarchy to life. But, we’re all just trying to get from day to day.

You don’t think there’s a hierarchy? There are tons of hierarchies. There are size hierarchies, habitat hierarchies, food chain hierarchies. The Sixth Day Hierarchy just kind of starts them all off.

Buck. Sol. C’mon.

Yes, your Majesty.

Yeah. As you wish, your Highness.

Hey, I didn’t ask to be what I am. That’s my lot to deal with. I have to work for things, too. I get cold and hungry and I get frustrated with my existence, too. You think I spend my life just gliding around because I can? Because it’s fun? I don’t. I don’t even like it. Ninety percent of my gliding is done when I’m fleeing predators. Yeah, I get hunted, too. Severely. From the ground and from the sky. You think I should kick back and revel in being a squirrel? I’d be dead in a matter of hours. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

~~~~~

Moments pass in silence.

~~~~~

I didn’t mean any offense.

I’m not really offended as much as I am frustrated. I felt like you were attacking me when you said that stuff about hierarchy. Like I shouldn’t like myself.

Sorry, Chick.

Me, too, Chick.

It’s okay.

I do like who I am. And, I know I just said I don't, but I really do like to glide. Sometimes when I glide it’s like I’m moving in slow motion. The wind is smooth and gentle. The ground is a dream.

~~~~~

Moments pass in silence.

~~~~~

You know, sometimes when I’m hanging upside down on a thick branch and there is lush foliage all around me and the sun is setting over the river and everything is very quiet and comfortable I think it’s pretty great to be a sloth.

~~~~~

Moments pass in silence.

~~~~~

To be honest there are times when I feel like a master craftsman. It feels like my arms and legs are little magic sticks that can do work no other species can.