Happy Voter Holiday Day

I think the day after Election Day should be a holiday. It should be called Voter Holiday Day.

I always thought Election Day should be the holiday. That way no one would have an excuse not to vote.

But on Election Day we get all stressed out and lose our voices. It’s hard to get back in the groove the next day. We should all just be able to stay home and watch tv or listen to the radio and find out how the elections pan out.

How did you lose your voice?

From all the screaming, no?

Did you get out and vote?

Yeah. I didn’t know you were so into politics, Sol.

Well, my family has a long history of public service and politics so I kind of grew up in it even though when I was younger I didn’t care too much for it. Now I’m just trying to set a good example for people who don’t participate.

How long have you been this intense about it?

Three and a half weeks.

Three and a half.... You are model citizen, Sol.

How’d you vote?

Blue. You?

Purple.

I guess you weren’t able to vote, huh Chick?

I voted before I left. They opened some voting locations early.

How’d you vote?

I try to see individuals, not parties.

(Laughing.) Oh, okay. How can you in today’s world?

It’s been difficult for you to see individuals in three and a half weeks?

Nice.

Well, I'm just saying....

You know what I hate about Election Day?

What?

The stupid little "I Voted Today!" stickers people wear. Why do I have to look at that? What do they want a freakin award for doing their duty? I just want to rip those stickers off, tear them into little pieces and jam them into their ears and say, "Oh, you voted today, huh? Not yesterday? Not tomorrow? Thanks for clearing that up for me, moron!"

You know what people should wear stickers for? Getting flu shots. If I saw a person wearing a sticker that said, "I Got a Flu Shot Today!" I'd walk up to that person and say, "Thank you, fellow citizen."

(Exchange frightful glaces in uncomfortable silence.)

(Chick and Buck start talking about the weather. Sol discretely turns around and reaches into the fur on his left shoulder and pulls off an "I Voted Today!" sticker. He nervously wads it up and then puts it in his mouth and eats it while covering his tiny sloth ears with his hands.)